Below is one of my favorite features in the St. Paul Pioneer Press. It's run about once a week in the letters to the editor section. It also is a good example of how Minneapolis and St. Paul are different (though St. Paul is rapidly changing). Small town feel of St. Paul vs. cosmopolitan Minneapolis. It's just so funny to me that in a large city this type of letter is still printed. I've just given you a sample.
Tainted: In the late night hours of Aug. 16 or early morning hours of Aug. 17, you came into our yard and stole six bird feeders, three bird houses, two thermometers and a woodpecker ornament. We would just like to ask if there is something else that you might want that we can purchase for you? You are nothing but cowards and thieves. Whomever you are, you had to have planned this as you only stole what you wanted and left some of our things. We hope you are ashamed and will someday have the act reciprocated. By the way, the hummingbirds that came here every day like three parts water to one part sugar. They have brought us much enjoyment and we hope they do the same for you!
Please note: We, our friends, our neighbors and the police are watching.
BOB BENNETT AND LYNN KORAB
Sainted: I would like to thank the employees and the shopper who assisted me when my mother fell in the Cub Store in Edina several weeks ago. Everything happened so quickly. You were all so kind and considerate. After helping me to get her back on her feet, you stayed with us long enough to make certain she was and would be all right. I did not take the time to get your names, but hope you will see this and know how thankful we are that you were there.
CARYN MEYER
Write your own tainted letter, below.
21 comments:
Dear Baggage Claim Guy, Why did you chhose that moment to go potty? As my black bag with yellow ribbon bag when 'round the conveyor, so did an IDENTICAL bag owned by a Mary Velle from Buffalo, New York in Chicago for a wedding...3 hours later as night is falling in South Bend and Mike and I are gleefully setting up our tent so we can head into town for food and cocktail...I open our sleeping bag/pillow/flashlight suitcase...only to find WEDDING CLOTHES! Long story short...we were at WalMart at 1 a.m.,after cocktails, buying cheap kids sleeping bags...and Mary Velle and Husband wore sheets and carried flashlights to the fancy Chicago wedding! So, thanks for nothing Baggage Claim Guy! Mary LaLaLaLaVelle
I can't get on the blog from my work comp. and neither can Phelan. I google and then click on the address, etc...does anyone else have this problem?
Our visit to St.Mary's/Notre Dame last week was AWESOME. Caitlin seems to be settling in, (Mike loves the food at St.Mary's) after the game we saw Joe and had dinner (thanks Joe for the BBQ) then we went downtown to an Irish pub with great Irish music and Phelan danced, it was fun!
The game was amazing, the stadium was electric! Can't wait for today's game...watch for Cait in the student section, it's her turn to do pushups!
Sainted; Dear Rural tractor driver guys, thank you for pulling over to the side of the road so I could squeeze around you on those country highways. When you're driving your pickups, thanks for lifting your hand in a return wave, even though we've never met and don't recognize each other's vehicles. And to those Casey's cashiers, thanks for the big smile and talking to me like I'm your neighbor even though I live two states away and just came in to use the restroom. I used to think fall was about the smell of leaves and ripening apples, football, and jacket weather, but now I also see a friendly face on a rural highway and the gold dust colored air above a field being harvested, while bees and butterflies swirl above yellow flowers and fuzzy black catapillars inch across the road.
haven't heard from Ellen J in a bit... is your throat bent?
Dear Coach Weis,
Please tell me what happened. I watched the game and blogged all the post game comments but I don't really get it.
I went to the store this weekend to do grocery shopping. I needed to get some paper towels because I ran out of them like 2 weeks ago. I picked up a pack of 8 of them and thought this would last for a long time.
When I got home I realized I hadn't bought 8 rolls of paper towels. I had bought 16 rolls of toilet paper. I was sooo mad. 16 rolls of toilet paper is more than I need for like 2 years and I already had like 8 rolls under the sink.
You should develop a product that can be used as toilet paper AND paper towels. You could call it "WIPES-ALL" or "ALL WIPE". Lemony fresh. And re-useable.
that or start eating bags of spinach....
My paralegal's kid is selling magazine subscrictions as a school fund raiser. I ordered Consumer Digest, Discovery, Atlantic Monthly, The New Yorker, and Sports Illustrated. I refused to get People even tho I always read it in other waiting rooms. The order is due today. The reason I'm telling you this is because I want to know if there's some really cool or interesting magazine out there to get. Suggestions?
Whoops- I mean Consumer Reports. And I may throw in a news weekly. Which is best-TIme, US News, Newsweek?
you could get this mag, and learn all about the fascinating world of this most demanding sport:
http://sweepmag.com/
Okay...so here's what I did.
We have had Pete's wrapped 2005 Christmas gift on our kitchen table, in the car, on the workbench, back on the kitchen table...since LAST November! I FINALLY put it in a box and mailed it out last Friday...BUT, did I put his Graveyard Tees in it? No. I am such a loser.
Speaking of tees...thank you Jim for your payment. :-)
Don't put the swimsuit issue out in the waiting room.
Ed - your paper towel story made me laugh because Stevo and I are just now finally starting to get the hang of not buying everything in huge packages. It's been 2 years since the last bird flew the coop and we still think we have to buy 10 pounds of chicken or hamburger at a time. I still never buy the little boxes of frozen veggies, but the big bags. We suffer from Y2K syndrome.
Joe, don't laugh...VANITY FAIR has great articles...and you still get the celeb stuff.
We have a running battle in our newspaper between supporters of our current school board and the dissenters who claim that the board is supercilious and rude when they attend meetings and ask questions. Even though it's available on cable I haven't watched the meetings so I don't really have an opinion. But it all really reached a head a couple months ago when a dissenter was hanging around after the meeting arguing furiously with the board president (Gina Malloy, Grace)and when another member told her the meeting was over and she should leave, she (the dissenter) slapped her. It became the slap heard 'round the world. Charges of assault and a civil lawsuit have been filed. The slapper got bailed out of jail and promptly signed up as a school board candidate. The slappee also was up for reelection. Both lost. The letters ran the gamut from "No matter what, violence has no place in our school board meetings" to "Aw, it wasn't that hard, just a little slap, get over it." If I had only known our school board meetings were going to be like sessions of the Korean Parliament, I'd have been watching more and would have been able to give an informed opinion. As it was, I didn't vote for either of them, and it looks like a lot of other voters voted the same way. But the letters have been fun.
Maybe this has already been posted...after everyone had left the farm and Cathy, Steve,Mike and I were scrubing, cleaning, garbage dumping, etc..Mom and Dad went to visit a distant relative who claimed to have some things Mom might want. Reva Cash(the witch) had given this couple (last name Cash) the framed documents from the hallway the Land Grant Act, and a complete history of the Cash farm, many newspaper articles, just a big box full of wonderful information. Also Reva had a sale (which she didn't tell Mom about) and at this sale this couple bought Great Grandpa Cash's medical bag! They knew Mom should have it, and Reva was selling it!!!
The bag if VERY cool,full of many medicines and tools. Mom and Dad were very excited to get this stuff, and they hung the land grant document before we left.
tainted: Dear Motor Vehicle Office People (need I say more?), Thanks a lot for selling me a new license plate that says ROE 967. I work for the Catholic Church! I don't want "Roe" on my plates! Thanks for being so cranky that Stevo wouldn't even consider trying to trade them in, but told me I was welcome to try and good luck. I'm going to tell people it's short for "Rodeo" and buy the pretty plates with the bird and flower when it's time to buy new stickers. And they better not say "NARAL" either.
ROE could be:
Ran Over Ed
Ran Over Emily
But I like
Runnin On Empty!
The bag has cool little bottles that say things like "arsenica" on them and all the pills are tiny and cute. Plus arcane instruments, etc. There are actually three documents that all look alike and represent different parcels of land that make up the current farm, 2 with Wm. Henry Harrison's signature and 1 with Franklin Pierce's. All from the 1840's and 50's.
Josh loves The Economist. I don't so much - too dry for me. It sounds like an awesome array of magazines. I heart The New Yorker.
That is wonderful news about the Cash Farm documents and medical bag! I can't wait to see all that neat stuff.
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