A limerick challenge has risen
the minds, they all start to fission
so sit down and write
and post them all night
it's time to get on with the mission.
Does anyone want to be a judge, or should I recuse myself from competition and do it? My reading will be spotty, but I'll get to it when I can.
Grand prize: You get to know you are the best limericker in the land.
44 comments:
We will need a car somewhat fast.
Our _amry is on its last gasp.
It’s been a great car
But can’t drive very far
So this summer will be its last.
p
Thank you, Frank!
Can we also have a 14 and under division? I think Mary wants kids to do this, too.
I'll look around and see if I can come up with some prizes...
Lisa
All will try to write the best poem
In the end it will be well known
The best was Ed
Others wasted lead
Writing poems only fit for a gnome.
There once was a family named Straub
Some would write on a blog
A contest was started
Until someone farted
There they all sat in the smog.
Monica
When is the deadline?
Does Dad pick the top 3 and you pick the top one of that?
Lisa
Monica is crude like a cave tool.
She talks of gas like a boy in school.
She should be more refined
She should pay more mind
To car gas - the high price of fuel.
P
Pat, you made me laugh out loud at work.
However, your meter count was off.
lisa
My heart is all filled with elation!!!
I plan to be best in the nation.
One question arises
in awarding the prizes:
What bonus for great punctuation?
One or two other queries arise.
In this contest did you yet devise
a date for its ending
or is that still pending?
Any limits? I'll watch for replies.
A limerick is:
A 5 line poem.
The first, second and third line rhyming, the third and fourth rhyming, in a pattern of aabba.
The first, second and fifth lines have three beats (usually 8 or 9 syllables) while the third and fourth line have two beats (usually 4 - 6 syllables). The last line is often the punch line or a repeat of the first line.
Polisa
First, second and fifth lines rhyme.
A limerick is:
A 5 line poem.
The first, second and fifth line rhyming, the third and fourth rhyming, in a pattern of aabba.
The first, second and fifth lines have three beats (usually 8 or 9 syllables) while the third and fourth line have two beats (usually 4 - 6 syllables). The last line is often the punch line or a repeat of the first line.
Thanks for the correction
Polisa
A Virtue is humility
Virtuous is our Plymouth Breeze
The windshield is cracked.
Looks bad that's a fact.
New Cooper would be fine with me.
Lisa
My mind is turning to ale.
My interest in work is pale.
I am bored as can be,
Have already peed;
Now I’m checking gmail.
P
There once was a girl named Pat
She's so annoying-like a gnat
Her meter was off
Which made us all scoff
Not such a great poet at that.
Oh, I've been watching gas prices.
Filled up one of the cars this week and it was 4.04 a gallon.
Ed, it's a double rewards weekend at BP. Go fill up.
Monica
Contest goes until the end of the month. All entries must be posted in the comments section for the limerick post, any posted under another later post will not be accepted. I will judge since no one else volunteered (I was a shoe in to win, otherwise).
Saw a lady with the red line blues
Crazy hair, striped pants and crappy shoes
Throwing rice and crackers on the floor
She had others looking for the door
Poor homeless lady will never make the news.
I have a picture too!
End of May or end of June?
May.
If you must have a poetry contest
Limericks are obviously best
For it won't take much time
To come up with a rhyme
Clever enough to beat all the rest.
Molly
Rubber, Road, Steel and Fuel
Makes my car seem like a mule
Going to the Indy 5
Makes me feel alive
Especially when the crashes are cruel.
We have a great new park by the river - it was all under 10 feet of water in 2010 - adjacent to the pedestrian bridge. They're having all kinds of events all summer. We're watching Nico Saturday night and we might give it a try.
There's a lovely new Riverside Park.
We and Nico might go after dark.
The surviving Beach Boys
will make happy noise -
can we trudge 10 miles back t'where we parked?
A prize of sorts has been announced,
Espresso cups or beer pronounced.
A prize for kids, too!
A gift to D.Q.
For the winner an award to flounce.
Lisa
lack of entries has lead to an extension of the deadline. you now have until June 30th to enter, or have kids enter if they wish.
There once was quarterback named Golson
He had one too many Molson
A test he did take
We found it was fake
Turns out he was not such a smart person.
Monica
one more ND one.
There was young man from Notre Dame
Seems his brain was quite lame
A test he did take
He cheats like a snake
Now his head hangs in shame.
Monica
Plantar fasciitis is sucky.
My granny shoes all look so yucky.
Cute flats, sandals strappy
would make me so happy.
Recovery soon, if I'm lucky!
There once was a gal named Michelle
Who called a press conference to tell
that she won't be running
tho' demand isn't stunning
for crazy-eyed bats outta hell.
Hey, Straubs, get limerickin'!
Mary has two or three to submit
If she couldn't, she might throw a fit.
She's rhyming all day
In an elementary way
To be a poet she hopes to commit.
Lisa
P.S. I am well aware the above poem does not meet the syllable and accent parameters of a limerick.
Farting in bed is such joy
but I just let one rip and Oh Boy!
That dutch oven
sure kills the lovin'
I need to avoid broccoli and soy.
Way too much gas will get you, Thomas
That's a fact, a threat and a promise
Beans, fibre and fruit
Will sure make you toot
Add rich foods, you'll get blown to the grass
Alternative ending:
Add rich foods, you'll get blown on your ***
Lisa
I'm fighting a bad double whammy -
my foot and now I've pulled my hammie
I can't stand or sit
for long and it's shit.
Guess I'll just go lie down with a sammie.
Actually I'm at work and the plantar fasciitis is improving. How long does it take a pulled hamstring to heal? I'm such a baby.
Ha ha.
Plantar fascitis will rear it's ugly heel off and on for the rest of your life. Belive me.
I'm leading a low-impact beginners aerobics course at work. last night after having the girls stretch out they asked me questions that indicated they thought that if they worked too hard or stretched a muscle, they could hurt their inside girl parts. They were so very not in danger of working or stretching too hard.
lisa
There once was a rose petal
that was into heavy metal
Nugent, Ozzy, Nazareth
Anything to do with death
She wished she was a prickly Nettle.
In heaven they say there is no beer
That necessitates drinking it here
Get your lim'rick in
Some beer you could win
For reaching a limerick frontier
Lisa
Some punk stoled my phone today
Just took it and went away.
I'd crush his head
utill he's dead
and not feel bad about it anyway.
there once was a girl named Rose
who was no bigger then my toes
then one day came a bird
who was really quite absurd
and said why your no bigger than my nose
by Mary Milbrath
there once was a very young fairy
who's name was actually Mary
she'd sit around all day
do nothing play
and ate a poisonous berry
by Mary Milbrath
P.S. I'm not lazy and I don't eat poison berrys
Just looked over the entries so far.
My language has sunk to new lows
I use lots of bad words which shows
no imagination.
I blame the conflation
of ailments from buttocks to toes.
Poor Monica's gone off her noodle.
Been bamboozled, kit and kaboodle.
Some fast-talkin' doc,
sad-eyed kids and sweet talk,
and she's Mom to a Laboradoodle.
I think Mary Milbrath should win. Her limericks are the most sincere.
I think Mary's going to get a DQ prize no matter what. I told her she was in the 14 and under category.
Lisa
Do we have any winners?
Do we have a lack of judges?
Lisa
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