Monday, June 12, 2006

Voted Funniest Joke Ever

The joke runs as follows:

Two hunters are out in the woods in New Jersey when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed.
The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps 'My friend is dead! What can I do?' The operator says: 'Calm down, I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead.' There is a silence, then a shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says 'OK, now what?'

"It is very rare to be able to track down the origin of any joke but this is an exception," said Prof Wiseman. "There is some very rare footage from 1951 showing the Goons in their first TV appearance. Just by chance I saw it on a documentary and saw a version of the very same joke."

The material would have been written by Spike Milligan and the script reads:

Michael Bentine: I just came in and found him lying on the carpet there.
Peter Sellers: Oh, is he dead?

Bentine: I think so.

Sellers: Hadn't you better make sure?

Bentine: All right. Just a minute.

Sound of two gun shots.
Bentine: He's dead.

43 comments:

Anonymous said...

No one has a comment because no one can think of anything funnier to say.

Anonymous said...

Why two gun shots? Wouldn't one be funnier?

Anonymous said...

Unless you try to work murder suicide into it.

Ed X said...

How do they know that Spike Milligan didn't steal it from someone else. I bet his name isn't really Spike, so he must not be very trustworthy.

Sounds like The Goons was a good show.

Here is something I thought was funny today: I got an e-mail from someone whose job title is "Industrial Hygienist".

P. Rose said...

Joe how's your kitchen coming? Have you begun anything?

P. Rose said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

What's up with Joe's kitchen?

Anonymous said...

he's getting zebra striped counter tops and polka dot tiles. didn't you know?

Anonymous said...

will there be a disco ball? it ain't stylin without a disco ball.

Anonymous said...

Did he get the disco ball from his bedroom? Won't he miss it there? ;-()

Anonymous said...

Joe's new theme song:
who is the man that would cook his wings for his brother man?
Joe!
that Joe is a bad mother
Watch your mouth!
but i'm talking bout Joe
we can dig it.

Anonymous said...

to the tune of Shaft, of course.

Anonymous said...

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, yah...now I get it! :-)

Ed X said...

In a May dispatch from Atlanta on Southerners' notoriously unnutritious, fat-laden cuisine, a Chicago Tribune reporter watered readers' mouths with descriptions of the "hamdog" and the "Luther" (prized dishes of Mulligan's restaurant in Decatur, Ga.), which are, respectively, "a half-pound of hamburger meat wrapped around a hot dog, which is deep-fried and served on a hoagie topped with chili, bacon and a fried egg," and "a half-pound burger served with bacon and cheese on a Krispy Kreme doughnut." The 11 states from Washington, D.C., to Florida, west to Texas, have the nation's highest mortality rate from strokes, but, said a University of Mississippi professor, "Food is a strong emblem of identity for Southerners," uniquely shared across racial lines. [Chicago Tribune, 5-16-06]

Anonymous said...

Mississippi has professors? who's that, the guy with the most teeth?

Anonymous said...

One of my boyfreind's possible job discriptions in industrial hygienist. His major was industrial technology.

The hamdog sounds delicious! We make "armadillo eggs" by wrapping ground sausage around gouda and peppers. Also very delicious!

Anonymous said...

so what is going on with Joe's kitchen?

Anonymous said...

Joe's kitchen, Joe's kitchen, Joe's kitchen...what is up with Joe's kitchen? I was, just, there! Looks the same. Cool red paint in the Dining Room...but, that's been there for awhile...hmm.

So...Joe! "What's up with yo kitchen?" :-()

Anonymous said...

I have a new sink and faucet,that's what's new. Also, I cleaned under my fridge for the first time and found a couple hundred hot wheels cars and an old Chuck Behr driver's license.

P. Rose said...

that right there is worth the hard work. when did it expire?

Anonymous said...

1999

Anonymous said...

That ant stuff sure was funny. I was cracking up.

Anonymous said...

On what day do Jim, Erin, Emily Scott and families arrive in Whittemore?

Anonymous said...

We helped Stevo's mom move last weekend. We are now starting a program of de-acquisition of stuff. Maybe in twenty years we'll be living lean and be ready to move when we decide we need an easier house to maintain. Pay no attention to the nearly new "Nostrowie" beer glasses on the counter. For every new object that comes in, an object of equal or greater volume must go out. Anyone want some Coors beer glasses? (Now I just have to find something about as big as a nearly new treadmill to get rid of.)

Anonymous said...

Is anyone else staying at West Bend? If nobody is, can we stay at your place, Joe3?

P. Rose said...

West BEnd is full up. So is the Americinn.

Anonymous said...

two young, helpless children and I are looking for lodging. Your kind response if most welcome.

Anonymous said...

Hey Pat, West Bend is full up...and we're making fun of Mississippi? Ha Ha, I hear the ROADS are very good in Mississippi...I need to go grocery shopping, Caitlin's friends came over and I put out hummus and crackers, and I found out later they were eating around the mold on the hummus! I guess they were HUNGRY.

Anonymous said...

Okay Straub's...I have a question.

I, accidentally, blocked out a Vendor in my Outlook Express! I looked up how to unblock them...and, I have to know where my, "contacts pane," is. Look as I may...I cannot find it. Anyone?

What's up with the Hotels being full? That's weird. Will there really be that many people here, this weekend, that we need a Hotel?

We have a spare bedroom, in our flood-torn basement, that's filled with my office crapola and has a full-sized bed in it. Let us know if you want it. :-)

Anonymous said...

Okay, well...it's not that bad...it has fresh sheets and it's own television with a remote!

Anonymous said...

I have no idea, "how great," the need is...but, if it is great...we have additional space we can make available.

Eli's room has a twin bed and floor space for two small-average sized people.

Our basement, in all it's glory, has a full-length couch. Unfortunately, our basement floor is concrete...so, you'd have to be pretty desperate for that. :-()

That's it...I think. :-)

Anonymous said...

Maybe because it's Father's Day? The hotels, I mean. Anyway, does everyone know that we're semi-planning on a Father's Day Sunday brunch after mass Sunday? Be there or be square.

Anonymous said...

No. Sunday Brunch...where and when?

Anonymous said...

I won't be home.

Anonymous said...

Well, then we'll have one more free chair. For Dee.

Anonymous said...

Hey! That's cool...I'll invite her...she'd love it...hangin' out with,"Judge Daddy," and all of his homies! :-()

Gotta go...I'll call her right now. :-<>

We'll go to Prior Lake and spend Father's Day with my Daddy. :-)

***I think anonymous might be Joe II. (?)***

Anonymous said...

OK, Pat'sgoing to bring some fabulous pastries, I will fix frittata or an egg casserole and sausages, Lisa volunteered something about strawberry daiquiris. We thought a great Father's Day would be for everyone to go to Mass on time (I didn't say that, just in case anyone thinks I'm being holy) and then have a big Sunday brunch at Mom & Dad's late in the morning. Any other ideas? Or anyone volunteering to bring fruit or other brunchy things? I realize this is on the blog, but it's not some big secret or anything.

Anonymous said...

I'll bring monkey bread! It's sort of a caramel roll extravaganza. :-)

Anonymous said...

Mmmmm.....monkey bread. Heavy on the caramel.

Anonymous said...

Oh yahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. :-) I'll make one with nuts too! ;-<>

Anonymous said...

I can bring some fruit for a salad.

Monica

Anonymous said...

Joe 4, is there room at yur house for me, Joe, Peter and Tom? no Ellen or Sean - they are camping with friends. We can bring an air mattress.
Monica

Anonymous said...

Hey, Monica...I don't think that Joe4 has his own place yet! ~ha, ha. :-)